I really think I can do this? Today I was outside in the park again. This time I had a goal in mind to go around the lower loop twice. The loop is 1.7 miles. So I figured with the running to and from the loop it would be close to 4 miles. Well, again running outside is hard!!! In the middle of this run I started to question if I would be able to actually do a marathon. The hills, the wind, the bruise to my ego after everyone passes me. The coughing, the ache in my legs. I think my left toe went numb at one point today. It all added up to real doubt. I wasn’t able to run the whole time, I had to stop and walk about 5 times. But I did finish!! Each time around was hard for different reasons. The first time was hard because of all the coughing I did. Will it ever stop!!?? I am getting tired of coughing so much while running. I hope it lessens over time. This time it kind of messed with my head. “Can’t I just have one run where I’m not hacking?” It upsets me that I feel like I don’t have any control over it. It’s a helpless feeling like I can’t do anything about it and I’ll never be able to control it, no matter what I do. UGH!
The second loop my legs were not cooperating. Along with my left toe going numb, my thighs and calfs started to tire out and my right shoulder/neck started to cramp. This after not even 4 full miles. How the heck do I think I’ll be able to go for 22 more?! I’m definitely scared at this point. I’ve got time though.
The one bright spot was the final push to the end. I was determined after the last walk break to not stop until the end and I did it. I felt like I might have picked up the pace ever so slightly and it felt a little easier. I knew in my mind that I would definitely be able to finish without stopping. It was a decent distance too, maybe a half mile. I’ll hold on to that accomplishment for my psyche.
While running I had the idea that at some point soon I want to go to where the runners enter the park for the first time and follow the marathon route to the finish. Get a feel for what I’m up against in November.
Thanks for reading.