Day 24-25

I really think I can do this? Today I was outside in the park again. This time I had a goal in mind to go around the lower loop twice. The loop is 1.7 miles. So I figured with the running to and from the loop it would be close to 4 miles. Well, again running outside is hard!!! In the middle of this run I started to question if I would be able to actually do a marathon. The hills, the wind, the bruise to my ego after everyone passes me. The coughing, the ache in my legs. I think my left toe went numb at one point today. It all added up to real doubt. I wasn’t able to run the whole time, I had to stop and walk about 5 times. But I did finish!! Each time around was hard for different reasons. The first time was hard because of all the coughing I did. Will it ever stop!!?? I am getting tired of coughing so much while running. I hope it lessens over time. This time it kind of messed with my head. “Can’t I just have one run where I’m not hacking?” It upsets me that I feel like I don’t have any control over it. It’s a helpless feeling like I can’t do anything about it and I’ll never be able to control it, no matter what I do. UGH!

The second loop my legs were not cooperating. Along with my left toe going numb, my thighs and calfs started to tire out and my right shoulder/neck started to cramp. This after not even 4 full miles. How the heck do I think I’ll be able to go for 22 more?! I’m definitely scared at this point. I’ve got time though.

The one bright spot was the final push to the end. I was determined after the last walk break to not stop until the end and I did it. I felt like I might have picked up the pace ever so slightly and it felt a little easier. I knew in my mind that I would definitely be able to finish without stopping. It was a decent distance too, maybe a half mile. I’ll hold on to that accomplishment for my psyche.

While running I had the idea that at some point soon I want to go to where the runners enter the park for the first time and follow the marathon route to the finish. Get a feel for what I’m up against in November.

CF Sucks!

Thanks for reading.

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3 Responses to Day 24-25

  1. Martha says:

    Maybe it’s time to reach out to some other runners with CF to find out how they get through the coughing (both physically and emotionally). Training for a marathon is a huge task for the average person, but there are emotional aspects of dealing with this shitty disease that make it an even bigger hurdle. It can’t hurt to find a few people who’ve been where you are and might have some strategies on how they rose above it.
    Keep doing what you’re doing. In addition to inspiring all of us, you’re doing great things for your lungs.

    Maybe music will take your mind off the coughing. Can I suggest “Fry-eeeee-day-eeeee” by R Black? You’ll really be having “fun fun fun fun” then.

  2. Terry Ahearn says:

    I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to RUN. You have two and a half months before you start training. Running right now isn’t as important as strength training and cross-training. Focus on fast-paced walking. You have many, many miles to run from June to November. Build slowly – and that starts by mostly fast-walking. And keep imaging Central Park with millions of spectators cheering you along.

  3. Treasure's Biggest Fan says:

    I am on board with Terry. It sounds like your strength was the issue. What about alternating days of strength training with days of running? That way you will get a break from each on alternate days.

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