Never Ending Battle

So I went to my doctor today.  Not because I was feeling bad, but to get a check up before race day. Make sure everything is fine.  Usually when I am visiting my doctor it is because something doesn’t feel right with my lungs or I have just finished doing IV therapy and we are doing a follow up.  Today was neither of those.  Today was just to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary as I ramp up for the marathon which is 24 days away.  As I have said before in my blog I love my doctor.  Everyone at the clinic is amazing.  Today was more of the same.  They are all aware that I am running the marathon so I had my “team’ all there to make sure I am at max health going into the race.  Even though I am feeling pretty healthy right now my lung functions are down about 5%.  That bummed me out.  It doesn’t matter how much I take care of myself or how diligent I am with my treatments my lungs still get blocked.  It was a bit of a psychological blow to see the numbers from my PFT.  I just need to remind myself that if I didn’t do everything I am doing I would feel worse.  So I have to keep fighting.  It is a mad circle that could potentially drive me crazy.  Get sick, go on IV, feel 100% better, go back to normal treatments, gradually start feeling worse until you need to go back on IV and start the whole process again.  It’s not like a cold where you get it, you feel bad, it runs its course then you feel better and thats it back to normal.  I wonder what normal actually feels like.  I wonder how much more energy I would have if I had full lung capacity and my body wasn’t always fighting an infection.  Regardless of what my lung functions are I am committed to this race.  No turning back now.

On Monday I ran 18 miles and it kicked my ass.  Felt great at the beginning and thought “I got this today”.  My lungs felt clear and I wasn’t coughing as much as usual.  I think around mile 10 I started coughing more and that was it.  The running started to get more difficult, the legs started getting heavier and the bottoms of my feet began to hurt.  And thats how it went for the last 8 miles.  From mile 12 on I started taking more walk breaks.  Gutted it out and finished the 18 though.  I was wiped out that night.  My legs were so tired.  Falling asleep was not a problem.  I was surprised that the next day my legs didn’t feel that bad.  A little tight but not too bad.  This training is getting difficult.  I just want the marathon to be here already so I can get it over with.

If you haven’t seen it already New York Road Runners has done a profile on me.  You can check it out here.  http://www.nycmarathon.org/Running_to_Heal.htm

I believe it will also appear in the program for the marathon as well.

To donate to Team Boomer, fight Cystic Fibrosis and help me reach my fundraising goal you can go to  http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/kevindwyer/2011INGNYCMarathon

Thanks For Reading.

CF Sucks!

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3 Responses to Never Ending Battle

  1. Martha says:

    I have no words of wisdom for you. Just know that you’re not alone on that f-ing merry-go-round of “Today I’m great, tomorrow I might feel like crap. Who knows?” CF sucks. Can’t wait to cheer you along the marathon course.

  2. Jen says:

    You are doing so amazing. You are going to kick ass in less then 24 days. Go Go Go!!!

  3. Kurt says:

    Kevin, wow you are a true inspiration! Congratulations on your finish and new Bride to be.

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